8
Life is a Beauty
UMP
大學廣場
FEB 2015
I
t is common to have negative associations with conflicts. At the same time, conflict is natural
in every relationship. Conflict is triggered by differences and disagreements. It is unrealistic
to expect ourselves to agree with others at all time. Conflict reveals our differences that have
existed all along. And very often, it is our differences that enrich our relationship and growth.
Therefore, conflict can serve as an opportunity for us to reach better mutual understanding and
strengthen our relationship if we are able to respond to it in a constructive and positive manner.
React vs Respond?
When we are clouded by our emotions in a conflict, it is likely that we would
react
before we could
ever have time to think about how to
respond
appropriately. Therefore, we would like to share with
you a
S.E.C.R.E.T.
that helps you respond with a clear perspective.
S
tep back and stay calm.
Try to time out yourself if you are angry. We all know how likely we are to
regret things we said out of our anger or defense. Therefore, if you feel the atmosphere is too tense
for a good talk, it would be better to pick a better time and place for the discussion.
E
xamine your heart.
Be aware of what is stirring up your emotions. By understanding your needs
behind the emotion, you will be more able to communicate calmly, openly and clearly.
C
ommunicate openly.
In addition to expressing yourself directly and clearly, you should also pay
attention to what the other side would like to communicate both verbally and non-verbally. By knowing
the different needs behind both parties, you can get closer to the roots of the problem.
R
espect & resolve.
The rule of thumb in handling conflict is RESPECT. If you do not care about that
particular relationship, you won’t bother about resolving it. Remember you are not in a debate but a
relationship. What is the point in winning an argument by sacrificing a relationship that you treasure?
E
xamine the root of the problem.
With open communication and respect, you are more likely to
identify the different needs behind both parties and hence the roots of the problem. Remember,
difference may not necessarily mean an end to a relationship but an opportunity to connect people in
a deeper level by mutual understanding.
T
ake it or leave it.
When the root of the problem is identified, it would be best if both parties are able
to negotiate and work it out together with respect and understanding. However, if the issue can’t be
settled immediately, do not get frustrated yet as it may take a good deal of time, effort and patience to
resolve a conflict. One may choose to forgive, compromise or let go and move on.
What pops up to your mind as
you see the word
“
CONFLICT
”
?
Anger, violence, tears, frustration,
warfare, hurt?
